It's been a year. . .

It's been months since I've posted and a year now since Tigrai arrived home. So much has happened - both good & bad. We are truly not the same people we once were. Some days, it's true, I wish for my "old life", which just seemed lighter - not so weighty. Yet other times I find myself simply amazed at all that has transpired IN us over the past year. We are grateful for God's grace which has been ever-present, but much more noticeable to us as we have felt our need of Him.

In one year's time here are some of our victories:

We no longer fear that our daughter will run away (which happened multiple times in the first few weeks---traumatic for all of us).

We have learned how to talk openly and honestly - and she is trusting us with her life story.

I believe each of our children feels they are loved & no longer have to "compete" for that love & attention. It feels like our sense of balance as a family has mostly been restored.

I have learned how to braid & style my daughter's hair in several styles - which make both of us very proud :)

Tigrai has learned to speak & write English & really loves her school.

She has also made several friends & has a few weekly activities she really enjoys.

We are beginning to feel & act more like family. After months of struggling to attach, this still amazes me when the love we experience seems to flow from the heart more than from a choice.

I write these victories for myself - I know that more hard days are bound to come, but seeing these in print will help me to have hope.

I also write these victories as a way of encouragement to any other adoptive parents who might be struggling. Adoption can be an incredibly difficult calling. It has brought me to the end of myself like nothing I have ever experienced. Each child & family situation is different, but I know that it can be so easy to lose hope. Don't give up. I know that is what I felt like doing every day, month after month. In hindsight I can see that our daughter needed to feel safe enough with us to share more of her story. All during that time I felt like I was beating my head against a wall. That wall no longer exists between us & now I am free to move a bit closer & learn to love her a bit better - like her mother. I am so glad I didn't give up before the year was up. I think I would have missed out on knowing a very precious heart.