One great thing that has come of our time there is that we have begun meeting with a counselor who is quite familiar with adoptive & blended families. In our time with her we have learned so much already, but the main thought I took away from our first meeting was that we are not only grieving the loss of our original family, we are also grieving the "death of a dream".
Our original desire in adoption was that we would share our family with a child who would otherwise not have a family. We have learned so much about our daughter's story, and quite extensive extended family, that in some ways we feel quite deceived. We had no idea how many relatives she had and how dear to her they are. We have even questioned at times if we have done the right thing to bring her here. We are reminded, though, that she is ours, and we have made a commitment to her that is lifelong. We trust that God is sovereign and that He has orchestrated all of the details of her adoption. We are now asking God to give us eyes to see what He has for each of us. We are currently thinking and dreaming of what He might do in her life as a result of her being adopted into our family. We want to think long-term, about who she might become. We are also considering how this will shape each of our children and asking God to use this in their lives for His kingdom & glory. And, we are also praying and dreaming that God will use this to prune us and shape us to make us more like Him. Already this past week I can see a softening of heart in each of us. I trust that we really will see beauty from ashes.
